Regardless of your age, as long as you are an adult, it is quite common that you have been in a relationship at one time. Despite this notion that most adults have been in a relationship, with the age of dating apps and hookup culture, it is very possible you might fall into dating someone who’s never been in a relationship.
If you happen to find yourself dating someone that has yet to experience a relationship, it can be a huge learning curve. Rather than try to understand why they have not achieved this step in their life, first read our tips to help you understand the keys for dating someone who’s never been in a relationship.
Pros & cons of dating someone who has never been in a relationship
When you first discover you are dating someone who has never been in a relationship, you will find that there are positive and negative aspects of this situation.
- Everything is exciting to them
- They will most likely fall in love very deeply
- You will get to take on more of a dominant (leader) role
- They will not bring an old relationship drama into your relationship
- Their family will be very excited that they are finally dating someone and most likely embrace you
- You will get to experience love in a completely new way
- They might feel inadequate
- Often they can say the wrong thing due to lack of experience
- They may not be good at managing their time
- They could have unrealistic expectations from what they have seen in movies
- They might be guarded emotionally
How to date someone who’s inexperienced
Don’t compare it to your past
Comparing your relationship to a past relationship is never a good idea. Not only is this quite unhealthy in any relationship, but this is especially detrimental to when you are dating a guy with no relationship experience. The same rule should be in place for if you are dating a girl who has never been in a relationship, don’t talk about your exes!
Even if you hooked up with your ex on a rooftop in New York and you think the story is incredible…this is probably something you want to keep to yourself.
Your partner is most likely already feeling a bit inadequate to have never been in a relationship. There is no need to tell them all of the funny or exciting things you did with past partners. This might bring up feelings of jealousy and have you wishing you never mentioned it.
Show your appreciation
One reason many people have never had a girlfriend or boyfriend is that they have seen a parent or friend go through a one-sided and unappreciative relationship. To combat commitment issues you can show your appreciation for all of your partner’s actions, including the little ones.
Whether your partner goes to get you a coffee, plows your driveway, or gives you a hug when you need it, show appreciation. You want to feel appreciated too right? So show them the love and appreciation that you want to be shown. It will make your relationship stronger in the end.
Depending on their age, dating a guy with no relationship experience can be tough and dating a girl might be even tougher! This is why you must be patient with them.
Try not to judge them on the fact that they are inexperienced in relationships. Support them, embrace them, listen to them, and take your time to work through problems together.
How do you date someone who has never been in a relationship? You need to be direct with them.
Try to remember back to your first relationship experience. Remember how you may not have understood certain cues, always known the right thing to say, or even handled situations in the most mature manner.
Having open conversations and being direct about expressing what upsets you, or what you need is the best way to go about this relationship. Communication might be a big problem, but if you approach it with a direct attitude, things will go a lot smoother.
Maintain your own lives
When you are dating someone who has never been in love, the relationship might grow quickly and move very fast. All of the feelings that they are experiencing in your relationship are exciting and new, and they might want to spend all of their time around you.
Allow your love to grow at the speed it is designed to grow at, but try not to spend too much time together. You need to maintain your individual lives in addition to your relationship.
Compliments are extremely powerful. Everyone likes to be given compliments, but they are especially powerful from the person you care about.
Even if it is a small comment about their hair or the way that they dress, make your partner feel good about themselves. This will signify the fact that you do in fact like them and appreciate them.
There are other ways to give compliments as well such as eye contact and warm smiles. If you are giving them a verbal compliment, be specific in your language. “I appreciate you coming to my doctor’s appointment with me today,” or “I love the way that shirt makes your arms look.”
Take the lead
In many relationships you want it to be an equal partnership of leading and following, but in other cases, there needs to be roles. When spending time with someone who has never been in a relationship, or even someone who has never been on a date, they are going to need you to take the lead.
This can be a really fun experience to show someone how to communicate, how to express their emotions in a healthy way, how to give love, and also how to receive it.
Grow with them
Your partner is not the only one who can learn in your relationship, you can too! Make sure you allow the chance to grow together. Be open to learning new things, and do not assume that because you have relationship experience, you know it all.
Always come from love
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but dating someone who has never been in a relationship (or experienced love) can be very challenging. The most important thing to remember in these situations is to come from love and be sensitive to your partner’s needs.
Try to understand that they are navigating a completely new path of their life, and it is a huge change from being single. Spend a bit of extra time to show your partner that relationships are not perfect, but they can bring incredible joy to someone’s life.